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Joke of the Day

"I'm a senior in college with 2 semesters left, and I'm considering picking up a minor Do I lie about my age, or do I just offer to buy her cigarettes and booze?"

"I can't believe I have to recharge my stupid phone every night or it shuts down *sleeps for 8 hours every night*"

"A polite German who never showers walks into a cathouse... ...and does his buisness. All the women then commented on how he had quite a ""gru dich."""

"What is the stretchiest substance known to man? Human flesh, because in the bible it says that Jesus tied his ass to a tree and walked 100 yards."

"What's a rabbits' favorite musical? Hare."

"I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it's slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever."

"What's the difference between Reddit and 4chan? One is a group of immature internet trolls....and the other thinks it isn't."

"If I really wanted to end my life I'd probably do it by wearing a Star Trek uniform to the Star Wars Force Awakens premier."

"What U.S. state was founded by Muslims? Allah-bama"

"Restaurants drastically overestimate how much I care about which wood they smoke my bacon over."