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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a tree that does not believe Jesus was the messiah? A Jew-niper"

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"Why were the dinosaurs so big? Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures"
"Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked."
"Snowmen don't 69, they 88."
"What do communist leaders call protesters? Red paint."
"Them: Pleasure to meet you. Me: Give it time."
"Just got kicked out of Chipotle for knowing what I wanted when I got to the front of the line."
"Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon? Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs."
"Before college I didn't have a degree, or money, or any idea what I was doing with my life. But NOW I have a degree."
"You know who's even bigger than Ariana Grande? Ariana Venti."