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Joke of the Day

"I love eating Swiss pancakes. They're like regular pancakes but neutral, so I can eat as many as I want."

"What do you call a ghost in the Outback? An Apparigine!"

"What is a 6.9? A great thing, ruined by a period"

"What do you say to a bunch of worried Trump supporters? ""Don't worry, everything is going to be alt-right."""

"OC: What does Babe Ruth and roughly 100,000 antelopes have in common? They're both ballpark figures."

"Ask me why I'm bad at telling jokes - ""why are you bad at telling jokes?"" - ...oh wait. Shit! ughh ... I fucked it up."

"ABORTION BILL A congressional aide asks a politician, ""What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?"" The politician replied, ""Shhhhh -- just pay it."""

"I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how's your day going?"

"I tried to jerk off with toothpaste last night... it hurt so I had to quit, but I can perform auto-fellatio, so at least I have fresh breath."

"I understand the beautiful part, Cover Girl. But isn't ""easy breezy"" just another way to say ""slutty and flatulent?"""