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Joke of the Day

"When it comes to sex I'm a bit of a romantic... I only masturbate to the thought of fucking girls in the missionary position."

"Billy asked our Astronomy teacher a simple question today... ""Mrs. North? How big is Uranus?"" Billy was sent to the office..."

"I painted my computer black last night Now it runs much faster"

"Where can you find the strongest tea? Cliffsides (because it's so steep)."

"My wife heard it's seductive to bite her lip... I don't have the heart to tell her it's meant to be the bottom one."

"If you missed any of the most recent presidential debate, you can catch one side of it on any given Facebook friend's page."

"Him: I just got stung. I'm allergic. Grab me my EpiPen. Me: Do you know how much those cost? Have a Benadryl."

"Why do blondes have more fun? They're easier to find in the dark."

"Talking Dirty What did the Italian wife say during sex? Pasta, pasta! What did the Indian wife say during sex? Curry, curry!"

"You eat what (phonetic joke)? Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who?"