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Joke of the Day

"What good is a space heater, it's cold here on Earth."

"Want to hear a corny joke? It's so good, you'd say it was a-maize-ing"

"I used to make jokes about people with butter fingers; stopped 'cause they couldn't handle it."

"What did the polite bacteria say to the mouth? GingINVITEus in!"

"Boss: Are you drinking liquor at work? *flashes back to pouring apple juice into a whiskey bottle bc I couldn't find a thermos* ""Yes"""

"Interviewer: Tell me about your future plans. Me: You mean, like, just tomorrow, or for, like, the whole weekend?"

"If Kung Fu Panda taught me anything, it's that obese people can be accepted...so long as they know kung fu."

"basically the first settlers were those people who go to a party & won't leave even though the indians were checking their watches & yawning"

"My dog said I was crazy"

"Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess that snails make?"