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Joke of the Day

"Difference b/w secretary & private secretary Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary? Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR"

"What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer One sells watches, and the other watches cells."

"when you drink too much, you may get whiskey dick. a less well known concern is when you use painkillers, however, and you get poppy-cock"

"I wish I was Jean Claude Van Damme, not to be able to roundhouse kick my co-worker, but to bore him to death as I act out a scene."

"Now that pinterest, instagram and netflix are down, I think I'm just going to spend the weekend learning the names of my children."

"The other day my daughter said, ""Mold is so gross."" I told her to ""respect its culture."""

"If my kid vanished on a plane like in that Jodie Foster movie I'd spend maybe 2-3 hrs enjoying the legroom & quiet before I started looking."

"What's the worst thing to say to an anorexic person? You are what you eat"

"While working at a lab, I accidentally put a q-tip that had been exposed to pulmonary tuberculosis in my mouth I consumed consumption."

"Why was Michael Jackson always late for meetings? Because he was always coming in a little behind."