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Joke of the Day

"I like my whiskey like I like my women... Underage and sexy."

"So true... Q: Why do women have boobs? A: So you have something to look at while you're talking to them!"

"The heaviest things in the world: 4) iron 3) lead 2) tungsten 1) a toddler who doesn't want to be picked up"

"I wonder if the prince was suspicious when Snow White's first baby was born a dwarf."

"I'm out of coffee until tomorrow, but I just saw three squirrels doing it together so I guess my Monday's balancing out pretty well."

"Ned: What does your Dad sell ? Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake."

"The past, present and future walked into a bar... ... it was tense."

"You know how asparagus makes your pee smell? Well, I just heard from my father for the first time in 14 years."

"Why did the cannibal get food poisoning in India? He ate Rameet!"

"why does it take so long for a pirate to learn the alphabet? the could spend years at sea"