184350
Joke of the Day
"The past, present and future walked into a bar... ... it was tense."
Next Joke
"Went to type in build a bear and accidentally googled build a bar. Better idea, I know"
"Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?.....That's as crazy as the low low prices at Dave's Furniture Emporium"
"Wife: Are you gonna wear that to the cookout? Oh... *reaches under mesh shirt* *takes off nipple ring* Better?"
"Do the right thing. Not right away, but like after you get called out."
"If someone casts me in a live musical I promise to go off book and start talking about 9/11"
"things I hate 1. lists 2. hypocrisy"
"Never using online dating again. Last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison. He meant prison."
"What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini? You won't find a Lambo in a landfill."
"Hey son, I know you're 5 years old and you think monsters are under your bed, so here's a gun, just start shooting if you hear anything"