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Joke of the Day

"What is green and has 4 wheels? Grass... I lied about the wheels"

"A man was eaten when he attempted to tell a joke directly to a crocodile's mouth. He didn't live to tell the tail."

"I got in a fight with Dwayne Johnson. As I threw the first punch, he turned around on the spot. And that, that is when I knew I'd hit rock bottom."

"When I was 20 I took a vow of celibacy... My wife however called them ""wedding vows"""

"What does the ninja call his penis? meningococcal"

"I like to have sex in the kitchen so she doesn't have to walk to far to make me a sandwich after. You know, because I'm a gentleman."

"A wife gets naked... ...and asks her husband, 'What turns you on more! my pretty face or my sexy body?' Husband looks her up and down for a moment and replies, 'Your sense of humor.'"

"The worst thing about browsing reddit is [removed]"

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer. I'm not sure what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day."

"If by ""flexible"" you mean ""can I get my foot behind my head?"" then yes, I am. If you mean ""can I get my foot back down?"" then no, I am not."