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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino!"

"I'm like a kid. People like me best when I'm quiet or sleeping."

"The stir fry chef had to make a difficult decision. He was between a wok and a hot plate."

"I hope college lives up to the hype All my notebooks say ""college ruled"" so it must've been somewhat fun"

"Cop: Sir, have you been drinking? Driver: Go, Pikachu! Thunderbolt! Cop: Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"

"In your will, be sure to write you want to be cremated. The night before you die, eat as many popcorn kernels as humanly possible."

"Hey girl with 20,000 tweets and 14 followers, I'm guessing you should probably shut the fuck up."

"Oh, non-habit forming? No thanks."

"Did you hear that Jada is pregnant by Alexis ? They plan to call the baby ""pinkitt"""

"*Hits rock bottom. *Receives welcome basket from Twitter."