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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Sir, have you been drinking? Driver: Go, Pikachu! Thunderbolt! Cop: Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"

"Why didn't JFK ever like vodka? Because he couldn't handle a few shots"

"My friend asked me what a Freudian Slip means. I told him, ""It's when you mean to say one thing, but fuck your mother."""

"Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of recent years? Hairy Truman!"

"1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes."

"What's the best thing about having Parkinson's? Never having to buy another electric toothbrush."

"I'm going to name my child Dick.. It rolls straight off the tip of my tongue."

"What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"Whats a zombie's favorite drink? Egg noggin."

"So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust... I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party."