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Joke of the Day
"The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem."
Next Joke
"Wife: ""you think all that sugar you fed the kids this morning was a wise idea?"" Me: ""why?"" W: M: W: ""they're running along side the car"""
"You ever get laid in a sleeping bag? It's awful. You can't even move, you're drenched in sweat, and your scout master is covering your mouth."
"People are like trees, they'll fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe."
"As a Californian, the most frightening thing about the movie Psycho, is the thought of leaving the shower water running for that long."
"So a man buying stolen goods gets caught, and is given one phone call, who does he call? His de-fence attorney!"
"Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface."
"My credit card company sent me a final notice bill. Good, I was tired of hearing from them"
"KIM JONG-UN: I'm banning sarcasm ME: well that's just great K: what? M: I reeeally hate sarcasm K: seize him...I think"
"That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like.... 'I've got nothing man.'"