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Joke of the Day

"So a man buying stolen goods gets caught, and is given one phone call, who does he call? His de-fence attorney!"

"What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray? They are just OFF-full"

"The word for today is legs Go out and spread the word!"

"*opens front door to see Christmas carolers singing Please, I have a family"

"Did you hear about the sheep who's young son carried him off the farm? He was on the lamb."

"Who is in cowboy films and is always broke? Skint Eastwood."

"I put the 'toast' in 'toaster'. Then I take the 'toast' out of the 'toaster'."

"Donated blood today. One lucky person will wake up from an operation with the sudden ability to read 3000 tweets per hour."

"- What do you think about the coming battle General? - God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it? - To find out who is the loser."

"How do you make a handkerchief dance? You put a little boogie in it!"