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Joke of the Day

"What do you call ten thousand pastors setting themselves on fire in protest of marriage equality? A good start."

"Today's youth are getting worse.. Today's youth are getting worse. I was in a church yesterday, when I saw a guy lighting a cigarette from the candle. I was so shocked, that I dropped my beer bottle"

"I stopped going to my colorblind therapist. He could never tell when I was blue."

"So my 10yr old & her friends were talkin about 'seizures' in class & this random kid yells out 'I LOVE their breadsticks!' Can I adopt him?"

"Sure, I have gluten free Halloween candy for your kid. *Reaches in pocket & pulls out middle finger* Get off my lawn before I call the cops"

"This isn't rain, it's God slaughtering a giant cloud."

"""I got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm losin' control."" Buddy, you got stomach flu."

"a woman deceived me with makeup. she pretended to be a hot girl but she was actually a lizard who stole my emeralds. all of them"

"What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell!"

"Did you hear the one about the guy who got two tickets to the Cuckold Convention? His wife ended up taking someone else."