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Joke of the Day

"I miss the days before the internet, when you didn't know some person's every awful thought until they died and you cleaned out their attic."

"I can't stop making figurines of Frodo It's hobbit forming."

"I don't understand why we use the word 'late' to describe someone who died, what were they late for? The funeral?"

"Is your dad's name Craftsman? Because you're a ratchet that's very easy to replace"

"I think this sub is dying There hasn't been a post ALL YEAR!"

"What do you call a suicidal cow? Cowmikaze."

"What does the Rose iphone 7 and the Titanic have in common? They both lost Jack."

"What animal is endangered by tooth decay? Molar bears!"

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust"

"Daughter announced there will be rain for Thanksgiving. We usually have turkey but with her cooking skills rain will taste better."