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Joke of the Day

"They found a cure for pedophiles. They turn them into dyslexics... ... so they go around looking for Pop Tarts instead of tot parts."

"Exercise, the poor man's plastic surgery."

"I asked Barack Obama if we could get together later, and he said Yes We Can!"

"DOC: We think you may have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are? ME: Can't say I do DOC: That's one of the symptoms, yes."

"A Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church... The priest says, ""Hey hey hey, you're not allowed here."" The Higgs boson says, ""But without me, there would be no mass."""

"What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but never see any!"

"Where does Jane Fonda buy her groceries? Traitor Joe's."

"HOW TO BEAT YOUR COMPUTER AT CHESS WITHIN 5 SECONDS: just set the difficulty to OBAMA.It will never come up with a strategy."

"How do you make soup gold? You put in fourteen carrots."

"The Flat Earth Society No further comments needed."