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Joke of the Day

"They found a cure for pedophiles. They turn them into dyslexics... ... so they go around looking for Pop Tarts instead of tot parts."

"What's the best selling soft drink in Italy? Dr. Pepe"

"Record breaking, visionary director Steven Spielberg: 'Wanna play a dull, killed off screen character?' Samuel L Jackson: 'Sure'"

"What did Descartes say while shopping online? I think therefore I Amazon"

"Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it."

"Two peanuts are walking down the road One is assaulted"

"I could tell it was a Monopoly board from the word Go"

"What do you call a barbarian you can't see? an Invisigoth."

"I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out... I say bought I actually stole it off a short fat, ginger kid"

"*picks out all the marshmallows from your Lucky Charms* *replaces them with Flintstones vitamins* You looked a little sickly."