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Joke of the Day

"I asked Barack Obama if we could get together later, and he said Yes We Can!"

"A government scandal is like a pair of boobs... The bigger they are, the harder they are to cover up."

"Duck Jokes What do you call a duck addicted to crack? A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack? Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car? His windshield was quacked."

"Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of his feet brown? So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut butter."

"The first woman on the Moon contacted Houston. ""Houston, we have a problem."" *""What is it?""* ""Never mind."" *""What's the problem?""* ""It's nothing."" *""Please tell us.""* ""I'm fine."""

"Whenever a woman tells me that she just wants to have a good time and sleep with me, I say ""You can only pick one."""

"Alanis Morissette sings about having 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife. And nobody asks why she has 10,000 spoons?"

"A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says "" Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here""."

"Maybe the Titanic sank because there were too many cats onboard, you don't know."

"And then I realized, it's not that I love documentaries. I just love establishing shots of courthouses."