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Joke of the Day

"Banker: You're sure you want a reverse mortgage & get how it works? Me(imagines bank making huge unaffordable payments to me for years): Yes"

"My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car."

"My wife says she's leaving me, because the beginnings of my jokes are becoming cliched and predictable..."

"Need to call in a hot female carpenter to fix this morning wood."

"I never feel more hypocritical than when I tell my kid she's been on the computer too much."

"What do you call an Italian suppository? Innuendo."

"dying to have A guy goes into bar and says to the bartender."" I'm dying to have sex in the worst way. The bartender says "" Well, the worst way I can think of is standing up in a hammock."""

"What's great about living in Japan? Well, the flag is spot on!"

"Why does it take southerners so long to do their chores? Because slavery is illegal."

"Why did the man clean up after getting a sex change? He felt disorganized."