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Joke of the Day

"What's great about living in Japan? Well, the flag is spot on!"

"How do turtles communicate? With shell phones."

"Did you hear they're making a holistic version of Star Wars? It's based on darth vadar's holistic brother, Ayur Veder."

"Things you won't catch me saying: What a great fucking meeting!"

"When I first met your mom, I fell in love with her because she had a kind face... The kind of face I want to fuck the shit out of!"

"What's a pedophile's favorite writer? dickinson. ^^^sorry."

"Catch a baby opossum, give it a 12-hr sedative, and hide it in the glove compartment of the car of the person who's dating your ex."

"So I was giving my gf the ghomeshi last night.... ^That is the joke and punchline all in one."

"A husband says to his wife... ""What would you do if I won the lottery?"". She replied ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent!"", he retorted, ""I won 12, here's 6, now fuck off""."

"What do you get when you make a train engine happy? Locomotivation"