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Joke of the Day

"For Valentine's Day my GF upped my life insurance policy. Unrelated, anyone know why there's a ticking sound coming from underneath my car?"

"Two cows are standing next to each other in a field... Daisy says to Dolly, ""I was artificially inseminated this morning."" ""I don't believe you,"" says Dolly. Daisy exclaims, ""It's true, no bull!"""

"What do you do for a frog with a belly ache? Rubbit."

"How many dead baby's does it take to paint a wall? _"

"It's nice that the french finally grew some balls... ...and shot down a German plane but unfortunately the war ended 70 years ago."

"I hava a blind chinese friend His name was Kenneth Sy"

"I Can't Believe I Don't Get More Recognition For Being Really Modest"

"How do you get Dick from Richard? I don't know, ask his wife."

"A patient asked the dentist if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth. The dentist answered ""I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."""

"What is Michele Obama's favorite vegetable? Barack-oli"