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Joke of the Day

"What key do you need to open a banana? A monkey"

"I was surprised to learn my kid failed the road driving test... ...she Tweeted three times that it seem to be going well."

"Your momma is so stupid that she thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease."

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water."

"The playwright wanted to make a play using only particles made from 2 quarks each. It was his meson scene."

"What did One Direction say when they became popular? Zayn Ma Luck"

"There was a body of a man found in a manhole in New York. Authorities determined his death was a sewercide."

"What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common? They both watch whales."

"What has a million legs but can't walk? Jerry's Kids."

"If someone ever challenges you to a fight, pull your pants off and chase them crotch first. I'm currently undefeated with this method."