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Joke of the Day

"If Captain America doesn't have a pizza hidden behind his shield at all times, he isn't fighting for the America I want to live in."

"fuck homosexuals... ...in the ass, only if both of the people involved agree to do it consciously and consensually"

"The safest place to stand when I hit a golf ball, is directly in front of me.."

"Latest reserch shows, that women with extra weight... Live longer, than the men, that mention it."

"Now that I think about it, I probably didn't need glasses for my butt. I guess hindsight is 20/20"

"How do you get a goldfish's attention? A U! Fish!"

"What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen."

"Why is a raven like a writing desk? Because they both drove Edgar Allen Poe straight into the grave."

"What kind of stories does Eli Whitney tell on Easter? Cottontales"

"What is a cannibal's favourite treat? A kid kat. (My 9 year old son made this up.)"