21980

Joke of the Day

"Why do so many American kids die in school shootings? They're not allowed to run in the halls. [-Jimmy Carr](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpxmKKtbw7w)"

"Have you seen the features on the next-gen iPhone? Just google 'Galaxy S4 reviews'."

"You know what ruins a rape? Consent"

"What do you call an italian hooker (with part 2) A pastatute Where does a pastatute live? The spaghetto"

"I found a dead girl on the golf course It was a difficult shot, but I was able to chip it over her head and right up onto the green."

"What do you do with an epileptic in a bathtub? Laundry."

"Where can I get sweatpants that say ""ANXIETY"" on the ass?"

"Its been almost ten years so I feel I can make this joke now. What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching? Oh, Phuket!"

"What did one mountain say to the other mountain? Nothing. They were both stoned."

"Mom always said I was going to be a strong one... After I survived that abortion"