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Joke of the Day

"My New Years resolution is to not make a New Years resolution. I figure I am going to fuck it up anyway... I may as well do it from the start."

Next Joke
 
"When is it ladyparts-grabbing time for Donald Trump? When the little hand is on the 10."
"What do you call a dinosaur from the Middle East? An Iran-asaurus!"
"Why did the blonde snort splenda? She thought it was diet coke."
"Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?"
"So sorry I hit a nerve. I was actually aiming for a major artery."
"I've slept with enough babysitters to know how to raise a kid thanks mom"
"Why do black people wear chains? Nostalgia"
"How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb? None it is done by the automatic pilot."
"TIL a French man named Philippe Fallope invented the flip flop"
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