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Joke of the Day

"If Trump becomes president... It would be the first instance of a white billionaire kicking a black family out of public housing."

"*Speed Dating* Him: Do you have any hobbies? Me: *tying my hair in a big knot under my chin so I look like I have a beard* ""TAAA-DAAA!"""

"Just saved a ton of money on my car insurance... By switching to reverse and leaving the scene."

"I was listening to ""Club Tropicana"" today... ... And it dawned on me. It's been ages since a heard a Wham! song. Come to think of it, it must have been Last Christmas."

"While Ajax sales have been going down... It's still stronger than Greece"

"Why did Al Gore get a nipple ring? Cuz he heard Bush got a Dick Cheney."

"Friends: ""I need a new profile picture."" Me: ""I need a new face."""

"There are three kinds of people in this world... Those who can count and those who cannot."

"Normal things that become creepy when you look both ways before doing them: Pick up a kid Unlock a door Load a rolled rug into your trunk"

"I dont pretend to be anything I'm not.. Except for sober I've pretended to be sober a few times"