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Joke of the Day

"If Trump becomes president... It would be the first instance of a white billionaire kicking a black family out of public housing."

"ME: I can understand why, it's so silky and luxurious. THEM: Huh? I said I worship Satan. ME: Oh. I thought you said ""satin."""

"What did the pulse say to the legume as he left? Lentil next time."

"if you press ""up down up down left right left right"" on the soft spot of the baby's head, they do a super move."

"How do you get a white trash girl to suck your dick? Dip it in ranch dressing."

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face."

"*catcher puts 1 finger down* *pitcher shakes head* *puts 2 fingers down* *nods* (catcher to umpire) ""can we take a break? he has to poop"""

"There's only 3 types of people in the world. Those that can count, and those that can't."

"*sees neighbor put his garbage in our trash can* ME: *goes to find hub* ""You know what makes me mad?"" HUB: *points to self*"

"What is uglier than an aardvark? Two aardvarks!"