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Joke of the Day

"I can't see how this day could get any worse. First, my baby cousin went missing... And now my pet snake has a huge tumor"

"It's actually a good thing money doesn't grow on trees because I've killed every plant I've ever owned."

"A maternity ward was overflowing one national holiday It was Labor day"

"I accidentally caught my nuts in a barbed wire fence and now I'm the frontman of a Maroon 5 cover band."

"Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza doesn't scream in an oven."

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit the frog's finger"

"AIR & SEX Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"If Donald Trump becomes president in 2016, there will be hell toupee."

"So a 400 pound lady walks into a gas station to get directions.. she walks in and says ""How do I get to 280?"" A man steps out of line and replies ""I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"""

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying under a pile of leaves? Russel."