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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza doesn't scream in an oven."

"Just googled ""who is Gossip Girl?"" and swear I heard my mom whisper ""you're one of us now."""

"*Paul Walker shouts down from the gates of heaven* ""YO DID I GET A MILLION LIKES ON FACEBOOK? THEY WON'T LET ME IN WITHOUT A MILLION LIKES"""

"Why can't cats vote? Because they are non-voting felines!"

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's a fucking skeleton. He's dead and shit."

"God was truly looking out for me today I opened a bag of air and found a few Lay's potato chips inside."

"My roommate told me my clothes look gay. I told him to have some respect. They just came out of the closet."

"I got my beautiful wife a lovely woolie hat and a coat for Christmas. She's gonna need it because I've just lost our house to gambling."

"What's the most awkward part of a redneck wedding? When her father and brother walk her down the isle."

"Whats the difference between Barcak Hussein Obama (or any bought and paid for American politician) and a bucket, full of horse sh*t? Not much, the bucket. Just the bucket my friends."