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Joke of the Day

"It's actually a good thing money doesn't grow on trees because I've killed every plant I've ever owned."

"Do cannibals prefer red or white wine with dinner? They're not fussed, as long as it's full bodied."

"Another Sunday at Gym Church w/ Pastor Pumpz. We sang ""My Bod is an Awesome Bod"", ""Bod is Great Bod is Good"", and ""Be Thou My Protein"""

"Why did the socialist drop out of high school math? Because there were too many damn inequalities."

"Wife: ""Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?"" ! Husband: ""Because I don't want to wake you."""

"Why didn't the Christmas Cake go to the dance? He had his raisins..."

"No I didn't want a receipt but now that you've asked me I'm suspicious, so yes, I will have that receipt now please."

"When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread... it's called gluten tag. I'll show myself out."

"Why do chicken coops have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors they would be called chicken sedans!"

"Its so cold In Massachusetts I just seen a democrat with his hands in his own pockets! ;)"