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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow."

"How do people see so much on internet these days? They put on the Google!"

"I'm incredibly flattered that my therapist thinks I should be in anger management. I've never even held an entry-level position."

"People say I'm too condescending. (That means I talk down to them)"

"I like my coffee like I like my girls Without a penis."

"Smile is the only curved line that can make everything straight "

"I want to open a religious store called Mysterious Ways... ...just so I can watch God work."

"A Chinese acrobat/protester somersaulted over the police line in Hong Kong and was pepper sprayed. The crowd declared, ""That was a-mace-ing!"""

"What is the thing called that irrigates your lawn? A garden Jose."

"A co-worker just used the word ""elderly"" to describe someone my age and that's why I had to kill her."