190212

Joke of the Day

"My family's going to be here soon. Quick, hide my body."

"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? One is under buck fifty one is under a buck."

"Q: What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long has a head on it and that women love so much that they often blow it? A: a $20 bill"

"Why was Stalin a Bad leader? Because he was staling a country that was rushing..(Russia) This joke was bad. Im going to bed now."

"Why couldn't the police arrest the drug dealer? Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)"

"How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone? Put it into airplane mode."

"Thinking about starting an independent pharmacy called ""Netflix and Pills"". Quality patient care with 24/7 Netflix while you wait. Thoughts?"

"Twitter is an invention created by aliens so we don't notice the period of time missing when they take us for experimentation."

"I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day today. Just kidding, here's a reminder it's on May 10th."

"An honest weatherman says ""Today's forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm wrong."""