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Joke of the Day

"Baa! ""My name is--"" Moo! ""My name is--"" Neigh! ""My name is *chickenchicken* Slim Shady."" -Eminem at a farm."

"Before I met my wife I always felt incomplete... Now I'm finished."

"I found Jesus the other day....... and if no one claims him within 30 days, by gosh, I am going to keep him!"

"Today a feminist asked me 'how I view lesbian relationships?' Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer.."

"Why are there only seat belts in the end of the bus? Because #backlivesmatter"

"How did Bob loose his job at the sperm bank? He was always drinking on the job"

"What's the difference between an oral, and rectal thermometer? The taste."

"My girlfriend must think I'm rich and dying She keeps telling me to leave her a loan"

"What did one ethuastic Electrician say to the other sad Electrician? Don't feel bad, YOU CONDUIT!!!"

"Your car took up two spaces, so I tried to move it over with my key."