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Joke of the Day

"*puts leash around pet lobster* I think there will be games and lots of friends to play with Pinchy *walks into Lobsterfest* COVER YOUR EYES"

"PATIENT: How tough was medical school for a dog like you? DR DOG: *thinking back on all the homework he ate* It wasn't easy"

"""Don't you play stupid with me!"" shouted my wife. ""Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?"" I replied."

"Who steals all the soap in the bathroom? The robber ducky"

"What is the proudest body part? the veins"

"What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family."

"I was gonna tell a joke about OCD... but."

"How do you fit 4 girls on a bar stool? Flip it over"

"If I ever go to prison, I'm gonna make damn sure everyone knows my street name: Butthole Teeth."

"A single gene that is dramatically different in chimpanzees and humans may explain why apes cannot talk. Oh well, at least they can still communicate through rap music."