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Joke of the Day

"Kayne and Kim name their new daughter ""North"" I hope there's a perfume coming: ""North"" by North West."

"Technology.( Based on true events) My apple watch reminded me to take a minute to breathe right after my grandfather let one rip."

"Can I call you? Crush: Yes Errm, I called but you didn't pick Crush: I said you could call, I never said I'd pick up"

"I read an interesting stat online the other day.... Apparently 1 in two and a half men are HIV positive."

"Some guy who wasn't looking where he was going hit me with a stick today So I beat the shit out of him. And for good measure kicked his Labrador too."

"If Amy Schumer was a football player, what team would she play for? The Stealers."

"Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking? Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!"

"Two muffins are in a tin in the oven. One says to the other, ""man it's hot in here."" The other says, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels."

"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women [FIXED] Turns out they're way harder to pick up than I thought."