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Joke of the Day

"If someone won't lift a finger to call you, see you or spend time with you then it's time for you to lift five fingers and wave goodbye."

"What's a Pirate's favorite letter? Ye would think it be Arrr(R) but its the Sea(C)!"

"I had a friend buy a European car and he kept telling me about it breaking down. I had to tell him that I didn't want to hear anymore of his Saab stories."

"Did you here about the pizza place that when bankrupt? I guess they weren't making enough dough"

"Someone stole a kitchen utensil from my house He said it was a whisk worth taking"

"The opposite of SpongeBob SquarePants is TowelWeave CircleShorts"

"Someone told me a story of a mountain climber... It ended with a cliffhanger."

"What kind of cereal does Microsoft make? Wind O's"

"It's a good thing I keep condoms in my backpack because midterms have been fucking me all week"

"Why does America spell colour without the u? because fuck u"