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Joke of the Day

"I had a friend buy a European car and he kept telling me about it breaking down. I had to tell him that I didn't want to hear anymore of his Saab stories."

"My son just referred to a beaver as a ""wood-eater"". So I mulled it over in my mind for a bit and it would seem he's correct on two levels."

"I had a nosebleed all of the sudden in the kitchen Now how am I supposed to tell them that my wife fell on the knife?"

"Pickpocketing rates are so high in Barcelona, after browsing Street View my PayPal account got emptied."

"what does clark kent have for breakfast? alter-eggos"

"What has six balls and rapes the poor? The lottery. It's over $800 million folks! Dragged this joke back for the occasion."

"What company spent over $6.2 billion in buying Viagra? Microsoft"

"How do trees get online? They just log in..."

"Why does Marshawn Lynch sit in the back at the Kid's Choice awards? He's just there so he won't get slimed."

"Me: oh hi! Did you come over because I'm sad? How do you always know when I need you? Cat: get me my damn jingle mouse. Me: I love you too"