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Joke of the Day

"What's it called when two retarded lesbians have sex? Sthaftey scthissors!"

"I made a graph of my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis."

"If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?"

"What do you call a bikini clad conspiracy theorist? An illumi-hotty!"

"What starts with N, has two Gs in the middle, and has no business wearing a pointy white hood? Your noggin"

"A Priest And A Rabbi Are Sitting On A Park Bench Watching Kids Play... Priest - ""Hey rabbi, want to help me screw these kids?"" Rabbi-""Screw them out of what?"""

"My friend made a joke about terrorist hijacking planes I rated it 9/11"

"*Asks soulmate* What is your dream car and why? Minivan, because the sliding door <joining in> MAKES IT EASIER FOR DRIVE-BY BAZOOKA ATTACKS"

"Shout out to metaphors. Without you there would only be like four songs."

"I got drunk with my dad once and I asked him if his boner curved to the left too, he replied ""No, you got that from your mother"". :("