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Joke of the Day
"What's it called when two retarded lesbians have sex? Sthaftey scthissors!"
Next Joke
"How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler!"
"What do you use when you go fishing for nudes on the internet? A boober!"
"[dog wedding] [Bride throws bouquet into crowd] [Groom catches it, gives it back to Bride] [Bride throws bouquet again] [Groom catches.."
"Martin Shkreli has been arrested. Bail will be set, then quickly raised to an amount he can't possible afford."
"What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic? Going in to ask for a coat hanger!"
"I hate having to walk behind a car... It's exhausting."
"What was the bear's favourite pick-up line? Hey baby, what's ursine?"
"What do you call the gap between a pair of fake boobs? Silicone Valley. edit: spelling"
"What do Saiyans and Kelly Clarkson have in common? (x-post r/funny) What doesn't kill them, makes them stronger."