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Joke of the Day
"Shout out to metaphors. Without you there would only be like four songs."
Next Joke
"Why is an apple a Dalek's favourite fruit? Because it keeps the Doctor away!"
"My internet connection is just like my Ex-Girlfriend Unstable"
"Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. Except Gary. Gary was in your house going through your underwear drawer. He also kissed your cat."
"I used to sell office supplies to the mafia, file cabinets and label makers and such I was involved in very organized crime"
"Me: smells like upyou'refreetogo in here. Cop: what's upyou'refreetogo? Me: *finger guns* catch ya later Cop: aww damn lol got me again"
"[at a funeral home] ME: One death please"
"Quidditch. Scratching yourself with a pound coin."
"I've decided to start listing the sources of my eggs. It's very eggs-citing."
"How can you tell if someone is a pilot? They'll just tell you."