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Joke of the Day

"How do gold diggers get you to be with them? They use their booby traps"

"[galileo's wife walks in] *quickly pointing the telescope from the neighbor's window to the sky* i was just studying the... phases of venus."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way last night."

"My brother threw a can of Pepsi at me from the roof... I'm just glad it was a soft drink otherwise that may have caused some serious damage."

"[First date] Him: Can you pass the- SOMETIMES WHEN I SLEEP ON MY STOMACH MY CAT LIES ON MY BACK LIKE A TINY SURFER"

"I got a nice Rolex from the lesbian couple next door after they asked me what I wanted for my birthday. It's a cool gift and all, but I think they misunderstood me when I told them I wanna watch."

"Why was the chicken kicked out of class? For using *fowl* language."

"How did the Italians lose WWII? They ordered ziti instead of shells."

"Where does a Jewish farmer become a man? At his Barn Mitzvah"

"What's got no teeth, and smells? The gearbox in my wife's car."