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Joke of the Day

"What is 4,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start."

"The Pirate and the alphabet Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet? Because they spend years at sea."

"My cousin Denise's baby Alpo was born with no feet and a full adult penis because she drank Four Loko when she was pregnant :("

"Why couldn't Cinderella play football very well? Her coach was a pumpkin"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house. (awkward silence) knock knock. (who's there?) The chicken. Feel free to try on your friends, its a good laugh."

"They organized a lookalike competition in China. Everybody won!"

"(Date) ME: Watch this *ties cherry stem with tongue* HER: *giggles* 1-UP WALLY: *places Rubik's cube in mouth and pulls it out solved*"

"What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common? Failure to pull out in time"

"Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do? Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. ""Oh damn, shots fired!"" But not by the pizza guy."

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, do feminists still blame men for it?"