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Joke of the Day

"This is a terrible week for Thanksgiving This time, Turkey is doing the roasting ijusthadtoimsosorry"

"I saw two blind people on campus today One of them walks by the same spot every day at 1:20. I've never seen the other one before. I don't think she's seen me either... or ever will."

"How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much? Because they built their stuff with reads!"

"A neutron walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He asks the bartender how much it costs, to which the bartender replies ""For you my friend, no charge""."

"[all the dairy products r hanging out] Milk: lets go drink Cheese: yea Yogurt: yea Whipped cream: my gf says i cant. its scrapbooking night"

"What do you call a prosthetic used in exchage for your missing leg. A stubstitute"

"Why does Peter Dinklage drink Smirnoff? Because he can't reach for the Grey Goose"

"What did the thirsty weatherman say to his intern? I need my thermos, stat!"

"They say in life expect the unexpected'. So I did, and f*ck all happened. I wasn't expecting that."

"What did one butt cheek say to the other? If we stick together, we can stop this crap!"