155288

Joke of the Day

"What did one butt cheek say to the other? If we stick together, we can stop this crap!"

"What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems? The Pastryarchy."

"Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past? It had a SPOILER on it."

"[On stage at comedy club] ""Doritos: 11 chips per serving"" *audience erupts in laughter* ""Oreos: 3 cookies per serving"" *audience loses it*"

"People that study meteors are called weatherologists"

"I surveyed 50 women on what hair product they used in the shower. I never knew there was a brand called ""how the hell did you get in here?!'"

"How many black men does it take to feed a family? Just one, if you eat the whole thing."

"My ex husbands Voicemail was a trick one where he'd say ""Hello Hello, so you think he'd answered and that's why he's dead."

"[On couch, notices it's 6pm] Luckily I don't have to pick up the kids from the Christmas party until 8. *Notices it's February* OH SHIT"

"If you are American when you go into the bathroom... ... and you are American when you come out of the bathroom. What are you while you are in the bathroom? European!"