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Joke of the Day

"I hope when you get to heaven, they give you a photo album with all the pictures you're in the background of."

"I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble"

"One time, a cow saved my life It was bovine intervention."

"Why are all the guys banging hot chicks in porn fat and ugly? I don't know, but sign me up!"

"What do you call a girl that you meet on Reddit? You don't."

"When going camping you can never run You have to ran, because it will always be past tents."

"If Twitter allowed us to attach a signature to each Tweet, mine would be : ""He said, stupidly."""

"When one of my friends told me he was in a sexual relationship with a space rock... I had no comet."

"*Tries to warm up car* Car: I have a boyfriend"

"What did the Mexican say when his roof fell on him? Get off me Holmes!"