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Joke of the Day

"I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble"

"What do you call a peanut butter jelly sandwich in Flint MI? Pb and j"

"2 gay guys are at a bar. As they near bar what does one say to the other? May I push your stool in."

"I just saved a bunch of monkeys on car insurance by telling them that monkeys don't drive so they don't need insurance."

"What's the difference between a 4WD and a rental car? A rental car can drive anywhere."

"Why did Jim die from eating at an Italian restaurant? Because he asked for 'ebola spaghetti'"

"What's the difference between Ellen Pao and hitler? Hitler at least helped his people."

"An old man was asking God: ""God, how much time do I have until I'll die?"" And God answered: ""Nine."" ""God, is that you? What do you mean? Nine months? Nine years?"" ""Eight, seven, six..."""

"Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ? To improve his bite !"

"What's a meth head's favourite thing about Halloween? Only two more sleeps till Christmas!"