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Joke of the Day

"Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters? She had never learned to spell properly."

"Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because ""The Sum of All Fears"" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography."

"A midget once smoked a lot of weed... He got medium."

"I tell people my parents are divorced, but technically we lost my mom in a corn maze"

"[running away from killer] KILLER: YOU'RE GONNA TRIP ON YOUR SHOELACES THEN I'LL GET U ME: MY SHOES ARE VELCRO KILLER: NOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"It would be funny if after making love to Jennifer Lawrence she stood up & fired 50 or 60 arrows into my sweaty body."

"I just got a socially progressive phone... It has an LGBTQWERTY keyboard"

"I think i am allergic to leather. Every time i wake up with my shoes on, i have a huge headache."

"If my wife comes to bed nude it's ON, but when it's me at the end of the bed naked she's all ""what are you doin, we're at Mattress City."""

"Uno and mexican :/ Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they steal all the green cards."