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Joke of the Day

"[first date] I'm sorry, I fiddle when I get nervous ""That's okay"" Yeah.... *jams out epic fiddle solo for the rest of the date*"

"What do you call a mollusc that's just short of consciousness? A Conch."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I told her ""Well now, that's a pretty big word for an eight year old."""

"What's a Dragon Ball fan's favourite food? Vegeta-bles"

"Sheep Jokes are baad."

"A daughter asked her mother, ""Mom, how do you spell 'scrotum'? Her mom replied, ""Honey, you should have asked me last nightit was on the tip of my tongue."""

"What did the stormtrooper say when he was frying Luke's aunt and uncle? I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning Beru."

"I'm romantic so I treat my girlfriend to a candlelight dinner every night, plus she's getting fat and candlelight has like zero calories."

"Tell me your favourite version of The Aristocrats"

"A German tourist walks into a pie shop on Fleet Street in London And tells the lady behind the counter, ""I would like to become a pie."" And so he did."