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Joke of the Day

"A scientist claims to have 100,000 pieces of evidence that Bigfoot exists. How about one, a f#cking Bigfoot??"

"Coworker: ""How'd you get that cut above your eye?"" Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* ""STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"""

"What are the chemicals in a midget's body that make them happy? En-dwarf-ins"

"What's the technical term for a female to male sex change? A strapadictome"

"I was out of tanning oil once, so I used PAM Cooking Spray. The tan didn't stick."

"Him: God you smell good, what is that? Me: chicken nuggets"

"A man goes to the doctors for a physical. The doctor says ""you have to stop masturbating"" The man replies ""why?"" The doctor responds ""because I'm trying to give you a physical"""

"If Hillary wins, I'm leaving the country. If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country. It's not like I don't like either one. I just love to travel."

"Have I told you how much I don't like the cars that can go up vertical surfaces? They drive me up the fucking wall."

"Hearing them call a 25 year old hockey player a 'veteran' and a 28 year old player 'old' has done zilch for my self esteem today"