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Joke of the Day

"Microwave Whats the hardest thing about microwaving vegtables? -fitting the wheelchair in the microwave."

"Every time I eat fast food I have the thought 'It's kind of ok if I die. People die.'"

"What's worst than being just a procrastinator... Being caught in an infinite loop because of being a procrastinator who loves to plan."

"Goldsmiths, what is your profession? Au, Au, Au."

"Guys: What should you do if you drop your wallet in San Francisco? Kick that shit to Oakland!!"

"Why were people milking cow upside down? Because the system went tits-up"

"I bet if I got one of those jumbo 16-slice toasters, people would finally take me seriously."

"A Priest and a Rabbi Are walking down a street. They see a 13 yr old boy walking towards them The Priest says ""Let's take him down this alley and screw him"" The Rabbi says ""Out of what?"""

"What did the Canadian think of his hardwood flooring? It was Oak, Eh!"

"What kind of shorts do clouds wear ? Thunderwear"