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Joke of the Day
"Guys: What should you do if you drop your wallet in San Francisco? Kick that shit to Oakland!!"
Next Joke
"They say they're free weights, but the gym gets pissed if you put them in your car and leave."
"My poem: I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig. It's not a very good poem, but it's very deep."
"STAYCATION DAY 1: Filled the birdbath with Nescafe just to see the startled look on those vagrant House Finches."
"What do Mountain folk do on Halloween? Pumpkin."
"if women think they arent meant to cook why do they have milk and eggs inside them?"
"John: ""I'm a man of few words."" Bill: ""I'm married too."""
"What do you hear when Bill Cosby walks into the room? (Zzzzip)"
"You can't spell Chipotle without E. Coli"
"I was so broke that Rahul Gandhi came in to eat at my house Indian reference"