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Joke of the Day

"dont remember a dang thing from last night but i have a crossbow now"

"Mac & Cheese doesn't contain many vitamins, so it's important you always eat a bunch of it."

"Some dude just ran into Starbucks, grabbed coconut water yelling ""white people milk"" and left. Went outside, coconut water all over street"

"Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games? Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out."

"I had to go into the Dr's today for a regular check up, & I get in there & he pulls down my pants & started jamming his finger in my ass... Yea I guess it's time for a new dentist"

"Can someone call me right now? I'm at the dog park and my ringtone is a doorbell."

"That awkward 3 second lap dance you get at the movies when someone walks by you."

"Two blondes are standing in opposite sides of the river. One yells: - HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SHORE?! The other answers: - YOU ARE IN THE OTHER SHORE!"

"Here's a joke about my browser history: [deleted]"

"Hobbies include: 1. Crying about the past 2. Procrastinating in the present 3. Worrying about the future"