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Joke of the Day

"So there's a guy at my work that cleans all of the new stock that comes off the trucks before it hits the sales floor... We call him the palette cleanser."

"Help oh god a I tied a balloon to my hand and now I'm two hours over the ocean held hostage by the wind"

"Should America Stop Dumping Money Into a Giant Hole? (theOnion)"

"I'm inappropriate on Facebook because I have to be appropriate and follow the rules in real life."

"What's the difference between an Alto and a Tenor? The Tenor doesn't have hair on his back."

"Disguise a mini-recorder as a walkie-talkie and play this at high volume: ""DO YOU COPY? IT'S A BEAR WITH HUMAN HANDS! A BEAR WITH--[static]"""

"Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs."

"I met a girl with 12 boobs once... sounds funny dozen tit."

"He shouldn't have died so young, but he also shouldn't have cut the grass at 7:30 am on a Sunday. (I'm writing my neighbors obituary)"

"What did the carrot say when the last vegetable arrived at the party? TURNIP"